ARE YOU AFRAID TO BE WITH YOURSELF?
I used to live life without no purpose, it would be the same old boring routine everyday, always dreading having to get up on a Monday morning for work and dying to reach Friday so I can have my freedom, and to actually live rather than just exist, although my raving weekends would start from Thursday night. But was that really positively living?
The more I think about this the more I am glad that I have overcome this and have become more content with my life, working my own hours, having my own freedom to spend my time as I want to. However I am very much a people person, its not that I feel the need to see people everyday, its the amazing fact that I love to help those who need me most. I no longer waste time on raving three times a week or going on shopping binges, I enjoy just living one day at a time and being with me.
I am not a person who is afraid to be on their own as I enjoy my own company 60% of the time, its less stressful than having to be giving me attention to anyone else every minute. Time is precious and if I don’t get my ‘alone time’ I become angry and irritated as its too much of a brain overload for me so 20% of the time I am running around catching up with my family and friends. The other 10% I am going to my events and conferences.
Not everyone is the same, some people are afraid to be alone with themselves, it makes them feel vulnerable. They need to have someone living with them whether they are unhappy or not.
My endeavours of having someone stay with me were short lived I feel like my space has been invaded, not to forget the extra work it brings emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
I am so not an introvert but I live by my own rules, I hate any kind of unnecessary noise when I want to relax. I literally run away from people who speak too loud as it aggravates me. I guess it is down to my mental health. But I come from a softly spoken family.
My parents brought us up to have respect for others and that is how my family are up to this day. I have always been told, where I live, that I am the best neighbour that they have ever had. I do not encourage drama and noise and unruly behaviour.
Today I am a more confident, content person and I find my happiness in doing the things that I am passionate about like spirituality and mentally helping others.
I also enjoy research and investigation projects in subjects that I have an interest in. I am happy to be independently doing things by myself without any input from anybody else.
We need to have our personal space in order to grow as individuals and to embrace 'alone time' as one day in life we may find ourselves in that situation as no one lives forever.
In everything there is a balance the amount of time we spend with ourselves and the quality time we spend with others.
The Scripture of Balance
Natalie Bleau
