ARE YOU AFRAID TO SAY NO?
In the dictionary the word ‘No’ means an act or instance of refusing or denial.
Are you afraid to say no? Is someone putting under pressure? Do you feel guilty if you say ‘no’?
In some friendships there appears to be a person who tends to dominate everything and if you do not take back your power, you will find that you are too scared to say no to them.
There has been many a time in my past where I would drop everything to help a friend, bearing in mind I had to put my other tasks on hold. I genuinely like to lighten someone else’s load or support them in any way that I can. but after being taken for granted too many times, I no longer have the desire to do it.
I was brought up to have respect for people, good manners, never to take anyone or anything for granted in life. I would always say my ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ It is first nature to me.
I have changed over the years, but my manners remain, my respect is for those who have earned it. If someone talks down to me or swears at me I limit the time that they are around me.
Life is too short to worry about what other people will think or say about you, if you decide to turn down their offer. I am not a ‘YES-MAN’ I only do what I know in my heart that I want to do.
No means ‘No’ and I feel comfortable saying it. I do not feel guilty to say it anymore. The only people in my life I put myself out for are my immediate family or if it is work-related. I do not feel the need to give reasons for my answer.
People must learn to respect my decisions to which I am entitled.
Make no mistake — no amount of emotional blackmail will break me.
MY LIFE! MY DECISION!
I recently completed a course on self-compassion, and it had a section on communication. It stated that you should always give a reason if you say no. I do not feel I have to find an excuse.
Although this sounds harsh, this is my way of looking after my best interests. It is not selfish to do things for your own wellbeing rather than put yourself in a situation that makes you uncomfortable or unhappy.
I would rather be honest with people than lie to them, at least they know where they stand with me, I refuse to be forced into doing anything that my heart is not in.
In the bible 1 Peter 4 v 9 states offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. If you really want to do the task, then you would have no need to grumble.
In everything there must be a balance.
Natalie Bleau The Scripture of Balance