HUMILIATION CAN KILL
Humiliation is to shame someone by inflicting a sharp blow to their pride, self-esteem, or honour.
Humility is having a humble view of one’s significance.
Being on the receiving end of humiliation can leave you feeling inferior in the eyes of others.
I have experienced numerous instances of humiliation at the hands of individuals who deemed me unimportant. They derived pleasure from belittling me in front of others.
Throughout history, women have faced humiliation, notably when they displayed intelligence.
In relationships, I have encountered situations where, although I did not tolerate abuse, it often felt like a battle of egos and ignorance prevailed.
Should I pity men because they may have been conditioned by societal norms where women were expected to be homemakers while men were seen as the breadwinners?
In today’s world, times have evolved significantly since the 1980s.
However, in the nineties, women were becoming more educated and entering the workforce, although not on an equal pay scale.
Some women did conform to traditional roles as housekeepers and child bearers.
For the past thirty years, it hasn’t always been feasible for women to depend on a man to provide for the family, leading some women to either struggle for benefits or resort to illegal activities.
In today’s world, the rising cost of living makes it nearly impossible to sustain a household with only one working parent. Additionally, marriage no longer offers the same financial benefits as it once did.
Despite women becoming more independent and successfully balancing work and raising children, their roles are often not fully recognised or appreciated in society.
I have endured countless chauvinistic remarks over the years as if women were mere objects to be used or treated as enslaved people.
This behaviour was considered normal by some men, although not all.
Independent women who stood up against this treatment and fought back were often labelled as lesbians or shrews.
While I may not identify as a feminist, I wholeheartedly stand with women facing discrimination.
As a woman of colour, I have faced unique challenges, but my upbringing has always empowered me.
My parents instilled a sense of strength and pride that has helped me overcome obstacles.
I distance myself from individuals who lack respect for me, themselves, or others.
I have observed couples belittling their partners in front of others, treating them as if they were unintelligent or incapable.
Some even speak on behalf of their partners, silencing their voices.
As I always say, people will do what you allow. They will push your boundaries and see how much they can get away with.
Individuals who resort to humiliating others often struggle with their insecurities.
Humility is the most beautiful trait one can possess, and my Father, a wise and gentle man who exuded kindness, patience, and love, was the epitome of humility.
He was a revered figure in the community, serving as a trusted confidant to many.
The humblest individuals often do not realise their nature’s beauty, as humility comes naturally to them.
Boasting and bragging are unattractive qualities that often stem from deep-seated insecurity. Individuals constantly need to prove themselves to others.
It is a well-known fact that humiliating a child can have lasting effects on their self-esteem and confidence.
Teachers should be mindful of this, as they tend to single out students who may not fit in with the rest of the class.
Adults must recognise the profound impact that mistreatment can have on a child.
Our actions and words can shape a child’s self-esteem, confidence, and well-being. By being mindful of how we treat children, we can create a positive and nurturing environment that fosters their growth and development.
Our responsibility as adults is to show empathy, understanding, and kindness towards our children, as these qualities can have a lasting and positive influence on their lives.
It’s pretty amusing how it can take humans decades to realise the importance of breaking the harmful patterns created by our ancestors, as they ultimately lead to adverse outcomes.
Across generations, this cycle of abuse has been perpetuated, with the excuse often being “we didn’t know any better.”
This ongoing pattern has resulted in us growing up as adults filled with resentment and anger, making it difficult for us to move forward.
Humiliation, a form of bullying, should never be accepted or tolerated.
Over a decade ago, I experienced regular humiliation in the office of a company where I used to work. Despite being a minority, I wouldn’t classify it as racism but somewhat envy and jealousy.
This individual, who was my boss, projected their insecurities onto me, likely due to their struggles with weight loss.
While I believed I had moved past this resentment, memories of the situation still evoke negative emotions.
During one of the most challenging periods of my life, my parents made the difficult decision to emigrate to Dominica. As they bid farewell to the country, she played her final hand.
Had I not been in the grips of depression rather than mania, the potential consequences could have been catastrophic. However, it still brought out the darkest parts of me, as I found myself concocting plans to eliminate this individual.
This serves as a stark reminder of how dangerous situations can escalate, shedding light on why many individuals find themselves incarcerated.
Gone are the days when I would passively watch as others were unfairly treated.
Today, I confidently stand up for myself and anyone facing injustice.
I no longer waste my energy on those who choose to humiliate themselves.
Instead, I assertively address toxic behaviours and take control of the situation. I can turn the tables and empower myself by confronting those who try to belittle or undermine me.
The solutions lie within yourself; when utilised wisely, they will silence any doubts.
In everything, there must be a balance.
Natalie M Bleau
Scripture of Balance
