LIFES LESSONS I HAD TO LEARN!
Time waits for no one and as the clock is ticking time is passing us by, this is why we should make the best of the time we have on this earth; no one escapes the ultimate end.
We do not realise how short life is until we start losing the people around us, especially when death just happens so instantaneously leaving you questioning how and why?
Death is one of those subjects that people would rather avoid discussing as it reminds us of how fragile life is.
I find it hard to accept the fact that a person who lived a healthy, godly life, would have to suffer a painful death, when a person who lives a destructive life, with no purpose lives to a ripe old age.
A dying person wants to get back to living a fruitful life without a terminal illness and those of us who have our health, take it all for granted. I can very much relate to this as I have abused my body with alcohol and cigarettes in the past years, it took the loss of my Father who I loved with all my heart, to start to stop making contributions to my death and that I should be proud of myself as I am a part of him.
I have to be mindful of my mental and spiritual health to keep me balanced. This is a continuous struggle for me as I have described it as cancer of the mind. I cannot tell from one hour to the next how I am going to feel, so I will isolate myself when I have this black cloud hanging over me.
Emotional and mental pain will affect you physically and spiritually as you fight on a daily basis to find that peace within yourself, that is why you have to be aware of the mindset of the people you decide to spend your time with.
I make the effort to attend friends and family gatherings but if I am not in a good place I will leave early so as not to ruin the mood. I can be very grouchy, snappy, irritable, and sometimes restless when the mood takes me. Patience is not one of my friends.
In my opinion I believe that I have wasted too much of my life trying to feel accepted by people who did not deserve any influence in my life. These were the type of people who would put me down and make sure I would stay down. They applaud when you fail as they do not want you to do better than them.
I had to make a lot of tough decisions and changes in the past few years to protect my sanity.
I refuse to allow anybody to make me feel guilty for walking away from the toxic environment that they are in. I will not give anyone permission to upset my balance.
There are people who have memes that they just post and do not apply it to their own lives. Life is too short, so just live it, stop falling back into the same old pattern of behaviour that brought you to this vulnerable state.
It takes a lot for anyone to dissect their mind and examine what part they played to cause a lot of the problems, instead of blaming everyone else.
In accepting part of the blame by recalling the actions that led to the fallout, whether it be that you should not have been present at the time, or that you had said or done something wrong, to admit your part is the action of a responsible adult. If you did nothing wrong, then you need not be bothered.
In everything there must be a balance.
Natalie Bleau
The Scripture of Balance
