MOVING ON UP
I spent much of my life holding on to many things that no longer served me, including people, clothes, and objects that I thought had sentimental value.
The only thing I learnt not to hold on to was old relationships that have run their cause, as they can hinder your growth and development.
They say you can be friends with ex-partners, but I think it's best to keep a distance from them, especially if they begin another relationship.
My understanding of the word ‘ex’ is just what it means: history, yesterday.
At 19, I was in an on-and-off relationship with someone I believed I loved, but now I understand it was infatuation.
I have never been in love romantically, so it will be a new experience when this eventually happens.
After working on my issues, I am optimistic and clear about the type of partner who would complement me.
I am not looking for anyone; it will not be someone I already know or in my fellowship.
It’s an exciting venture, not knowing who I will meet and hopefully fall in love with. I want it to be a lifetime partner, someone I need.
In the last two decades, I have been with men who fall short of where a man should be at their time of life, and it has left me having to pay more attention.
At my stage of life, I would ideally be with a man who is well established, owns their own home, and is solvent, or there would be no point in pursuing them.
I can never understand why I attract the wrong guys with nothing to offer me when I should be with a guy as stable as my Father.
When my Father was thirty, he had a mortgage and bought his own home. He was an amazing Father, a good provider, and someone you would feel safe and secure with.
He always worked for the government and, at 58, could take early retirement and build his own home in Dominica.
Unfortunately, he died at 71, six days after his birthday, from cancer. But he got to live his dream and was respected and loved by many.
He was a gentleman. He could do everything my mother could do around the house, and they worked together as a unit.
So here I am today, at 52, single out of choice because I want someone who shares my values.
I was raised to be clean, take care of my hygiene, and keep a clean home, which is a must.
The second problem is that I have my morals, values, and high standards, which I cannot tolerate if a person lacks them.
There was no swearing in my home, and we treated other people’s homes with respect when we visited them.
Older people keep reminding me that relationships are about ‘give and take’. I won’t compromise on many things I don’t believe are right.
Think about it: You want to spend the rest of your life living with someone who is the exact opposite of you. I understand that no one is perfect, but there are certain bad habits that I cannot tolerate.
When dating someone, you need a good command of respect, intelligent conversation, and understanding, not the opinionated and arrogant type.
So, after being woken up from my three-year coma, I have learnt more about myself, what I want out of life, and who I want in my circle of friends.
Braggers and boasters are not on the cards because they are too insecure. I am glad that I have my life back, and I can be who I am, do what I want to do, go where I want and be myself.
I have achieved a lot in the past few years, publishing nine books and receiving eighteen diplomas. This was all because I gave up on trying to destroy my life with alcohol and drugs for over four years.
My Father would be very proud of me; he always was. The rest of my family is impressed with my recovery thus far.
To move on, you must aim high and work hard to avoid people trying to destroy you.
Building a life that aligns with one’s moral and ethical standards is difficult. It requires dedication, self-awareness, and the courage to make difficult decisions.
One of the most significant choices we can make is the company we keep. Surrounding ourselves with like-minded individuals who share our values can profoundly impact our lives.
Positive relationships are built on respect. When we associate with individuals who understand and appreciate our values, we create a space where mutual respect can flourish. This respect manifests in how we communicate, treat each other, and approach conflicts. It ensures that our interactions are constructive and enriching.
Like-minded individuals often share similar interests and passions. This common ground provides fertile soil for intelligent conversations leading to personal growth.
Discussing ideas, exploring new perspectives, and challenging each other’s thoughts can stimulate our minds and expand our horizons. It keeps us intellectually engaged and encourages continuous learning.
We are more likely to have aligned goals when surrounded by people who share our values.
This alignment creates a supportive environment where encouragement and motivation are abundant. Whether pursuing a career, a hobby, or personal development, having a circle of friends who understand and believe in our goals can provide the drive we need to succeed.
Avoiding Negative Influences
Not everyone will share our values, and that’s okay. However, it is crucial to recognise the impact of negative influences on our lives. People who do not respect our standards or who engage in behaviours that we find unacceptable can drain our energy and hinder our progress. We protect our mental and emotional well-being by surrounding ourselves with positive influences.
Our successes are sweeter when shared with those who appreciate our journey. Like-minded individuals understand the effort and dedication required to achieve our goals and are genuinely happy about our accomplishments. This shared joy strengthens our bonds and reinforces the positive environment we have created.
Surrounding ourselves with like-minded individuals who uphold high moral and ethical standards is beneficial and essential for a fulfilling life.
These relationships are built on respect, fostering personal growth, encouraging, helping us avoid negative influences, and celebrating our achievements. By being intentional about the company we keep, we can cultivate a life that aligns with our values and enhances our well-being.
In everything, there must be a balance.
Natalie Bleau
Scripture of Balance
