NO LONGER A VICTIM

‘Eliminate bullies from every corner of society.’

Bullying in any shape or form is completely unacceptable and is one of the most harmful actions that can severely damage a person’s mind and self-worth.

Abuse, whether it occurs in relationships, friendships, or marriages, is a deplorable behaviour.

Have you ever wondered how long it takes for a child to recover from the trauma of mental, physical, and emotional abuse?

We never truly conquer fear and trauma; we simply learn how to navigate it.

A bully represents the epitome of human depravity, and those who choose to participate in their cruel behaviour stoop to the same despicable level.

The reason why I am so dedicated to eradicating bullies is because my experience began in infancy and persisted into my adult years. It wasn’t just a single experience; it went on for multiple years, not through my own making.

Although forgiving someone who made you feel insignificant and unworthy may not seem complicated, the lingering anger persists.

Years ago, I wrote about my former bully, who happened to be my boss. She was consumed by jealousy and envy because she couldn’t shed the weight of her insecurities.

I will never condone or make excuses for the actions of another person when it comes to abuse. There are no justifications or exceptions.

There is no quick fix for someone who has endured a lifetime of abuse, just as there is no real punishment for the perpetrator.

You cannot equate childhood trauma with adulthood trauma, as they stem from different points in life.

Childhood trauma begins from the very beginning, while adulthood trauma occurs later on in life.

As a child, you are at the beginning of your life’s journey, and these early years are pivotal for your personal growth and development. When someone inflicts destruction, it creates a permanent wound that will never fully heal in that person’s lifetime.

The type of trauma that lingers with you for a lifetime is immeasurable and impossible to forget.

As a young child, you are at the mercy of others and have little control over your own life.

In adulthood, you make your own choices and have the freedom to remove yourself from any form of abuse.

Before comparing experiences with someone who has endured trauma their entire life, it is essential to reflect on the decisions you made yourself that you could have avoided.

The key to overcoming childhood trauma lies in facing your inner demons head-on at the earliest opportunity.

Delaying this process only serves to keep you imprisoned within your past.

The individuals who caused you harm remain unaffected by your pain, and some may never acknowledge the role they played in your trauma.

Some may attribute it to sibling rivalry, while others may try to justify their actions by shifting the blame onto someone else.

You control your actions; no one can force you to do anything. Ultimately, the decision was yours to make.

I am convinced that those who commit such heinous acts derive immense pleasure and a sense of control from ruining another person’s life, leaving the victim feeling utterly alone and abandoned.

People choose to ignore family dysfunction, pretending that abnormal behaviour is just a part of everyday life.

The individual experiencing suffering longs to break free, but the only perceived escape is through death. However, being just a child, they are unaware of how to achieve this.

Feeling lost and rejected, the individual has no place to belong and will never find acceptance. They endure their pain in solitude, their pleas for assistance falling on deaf ears.

Can we blame the abused for taking so long to confront their trauma?

The answer is no if they never had someone capable of rescuing them.

Survivors of abuse navigate through life with a heavy burden of trust issues, making it difficult for them to form successful relationships. Their lack of life skills and a deep-seated belief that they are unworthy of love and attention only perpetuate this cycle of failure.

They are devoid of comprehension, convinced that their purpose in life is to endure suffering. When they venture into society, they harbour resentment towards those who appear to have it all together and lead more balanced lives.

They believe these individuals possess unblemished minds, for they have been selected.

The victimised individual cries out to God, questioning why they had to suffer through the cruelty and mistreatment inflicted upon them by their own family.

No matter how much therapy or counselling they receive, these deep-seated wounds will not be quickly healed.

Decades later, the victim makes a solemn vow never to allow themselves to be abused again.

I spent my life as the victim, constantly seeking death as my only escape. It wasn’t until I lost my Father, my rock, that I finally understood I couldn’t continue down this path.

I chose to avoid getting romantically involved with anyone and the ultimate sacrifice never to have children.

I have always avoided commitment because I feared being stuck in a situation with no escape if things went wrong.

I adore children, but I was never going to be ready for the immense responsibility that comes with raising them. I refuse to bring a child into this world just for them to become a carbon copy of myself.

I finally realised in October 2018 that my destructive behaviour needed to be eliminated. It wasn’t until 2021 that I woke up and began my journey of self-discovery.

I refused to be a victim any longer. I reclaimed the power that I had once given away.

I heeded my Father’s wisdom throughout the years and implemented it into my daily life.

I have become a strong individual who stands firm against injustice and refuses to align with those who commit wrongdoing.

I reclaimed my given name and proudly attached it to every success I achieved. This personal decision was made in tribute to my Father and for my empowerment.

I proudly championed mental health advocacy and stood in solidarity with those who felt silenced and afraid to speak out.

I may never fully overcome my struggles with mental health, but I am actively creating pathways to manage it effectively.

I continue to avoid individuals, environments and situations that provoke me to unleash my inner anger and rage.

I am a guardian of the kind souls I have invited into my inner circle, protecting them with all my heart.

I am a reliable and faithful individual who remains loyal to those who have earned it.

Today, I am actively liberating myself from the chains that once held me captive, repurposing them to restrain those with malicious intentions.

Three years into my journey of self-discovery, I am constantly learning and growing. I aim to cultivate meaningful friendships and find a loving relationship with someone who shares my values.

At 52 years old, I am a resilient individual who continues to hold onto my aspirations and ambitions.

Natalie M Bleau Author