RELATIONSHIPS CAN WORK

I might be one of the few struggling to maintain lasting friendships or relationships, mainly because of my insecurities.

But over the past few years, I’ve been actively working on myself — through therapy, personal reflection, blogging, and writing books.”

Some relationships fail because one or both people stop putting in the effort. When the commitment becomes one-sided, the connection begins to break down.

Effective communication is crucial in any relationship.

While partners may have different interests or hobbies, respecting those differences and recognising that the relationship isn’t just based on one person’s preferences or desires is essential.

My truth is that I should never have entered a relationship knowing I was never ready for commitment and was emotionally unavailable.

I remained single for a few years to focus on personal growth. I needed to understand what I wanted in a relationship and wait for someone whose soul genuinely aligned with mine.

Making decisions on impulse or in moments of vulnerability is like walking unthinkingly through fire — painful and uncertain.

I had to learn to love and respect myself first before I could see the kind of person I truly desired in my life.

It’s taken me three years to get to know, love, and accept myself truly. Now, I am open to dating again with a more precise and intentional perspective on the kind of person I want to share my life with.

I’ve had a lot of growing up to do and had to take the time to rediscover my worth. It’s been a journey of reflection, healing, and reclaiming who I am.

I’ve come to understand that authentic relationships aren’t fairy tales. They don’t thrive on perfection or fantasy — they’re built on effort, mutual respect, and deep emotional alignment. For a long time, I didn’t honestly know that.

I entered my first intimate relationship at 19, raised to be a lady but emotionally unprepared. I was naive and inexperienced, especially regarding friendships, let alone romance.

The relationship lasted over a decade in an on-and-off cycle, reflecting the emotional turmoil I carried inside.

I didn’t know how to communicate, be open, or handle conflict healthily.

He came from a good background, but my negative behaviours and emotional unavailability slowly chipped away at what could have been.

The pattern didn’t stop there. Every relationship that followed seemed to end the same way — around the three-year mark, I would self-sabotage.

I wasn’t an awful person, but I was closed off, afraid to commit truly, and unsure of how to navigate intimacy. I made impulsive decisions, often when most vulnerable, like walking unthinkingly through fire.

It wasn’t until I took a step back and chose to remain single that I began to see the bigger picture.

I spent three years focused on myself, learning, growing, and discovering who I am. I realised that I had been chasing expectations that were never mine — ideas of perfect love taught to me but never grounded in reality.

They set me up for disappointment and made it impossible to value something authentic.

Now, I see things differently. I’ve grown up, rediscovered my worth, and learned to love and respect myself. I know what I want from a relationship and, more importantly, what I will no longer accept.

Though I mourn my wasted time, I’m grateful for the lessons. Every mistake, every heartbreak, every reflection has shaped me. They’ve shown me not only what I don’t want — but also who I’m becoming.

I’m a different person today, matured through experience and deep reflection. I’ve taken the time to understand myself and grow in ways I never imagined.

While I may not have a circle of close friends, I do have people I can talk to and enjoy moments with, and for now, that’s enough.

I can honestly say that I’m looking forward to meeting new people and getting to know them better as friends.

There’s no rush, but I now know who I am and the kind of person I want to be with.

This has been my most extended break from a relationship, but now I’m a different person with new aspirations.

I am optimistic about my future, having worked hard to become a better and wiser person.

“My highest priority in life is my relationship with my higher power, followed closely by the love and well-being of my family.”

My well-being is also a priority, so I value a partner who offers understanding and supports me emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Weighing the pros and cons is essential before entering a new relationship, as you want to ensure it brings value to your life.

Anything that asks you to compromise your standards and values isn’t worth pursuing.

In everything, there must be a balance.

Natalie M Bleau

Scripture of Balance