THE DESTRUCTION OF GUILT
There are moments when we find ourselves stuck in a loop, replaying our past and yearning for a chance to rewind time.
It’s natural to reflect on our actions and words, but it’s important to remember that we cannot alter the past no matter how much we wish we could.
As my friend and I strolled through the cemetery on Monday, I couldn’t help but remark on the irony of how some individuals seem to truly appreciate someone’s worth only after they have passed away rather than during their time on earth.
If someone truly holds significance in your life, you would have already made amends and shown your appreciation while they were still alive.
The guilt begins to weigh heavily on those who never made amends and each memorable day celebrated serves as a reminder of the missed opportunities to show love and gratitude while they were still alive.
If it had been someone you disliked or had a difficult relationship with, would there be any need to grieve?
There are individuals who are trapped in a cycle of reliving their painful past, making it challenging for them to move forward.
I used to be one of those people, spending years stuck in the past and blaming all my present struggles on my traumatic history.
While it is undeniable that our childhood experiences can influence our future, I made the conscious choice to stop playing the victim and take control of my own life.
It’s unfortunate that you had to endure these challenges, but dwelling on the past won’t alter what has already happened.
It’s important to come to terms with it and seek out the resources needed to heal and move forward.
There’s no point in investing your energy into things that are beyond your control. The people who hurt you likely don’t care and have already moved on.
While some may claim they were unaware of the impact of their actions because they were young, it doesn’t excuse them from responsibility.
Learning to forgive has been a journey for me, and it’s still a work in progress. Some people were easy to forgive because they acknowledged their mistakes, but others were a bit more challenging.
Forgiveness is the key to freeing your soul and protecting your mind from destruction. Holding onto hate and bitterness is like a cancer in your brain.
Writing about forgiveness made me realise that it is one of the most difficult things a person can ever do, whether you are the one asking for forgiveness or the one seeking it.
How can one continue to forgive someone who repeatedly does wrong?
One option could be to remove that person from your life, but in some cases, such as when you work with them or have a conflict of interest, that may not be possible.
I used to believe that forgiving someone would lead to forgetting their wrongdoings, but sometimes just recalling their behaviour brings back feelings of resentment, showing that true forgiveness may still be a work in progress.
When someone undergoes a complete transformation, it becomes easier to set aside the negative impact they once had on you.
However, it doesn’t mean that you unnecessarily spend a lot of time with them, as being around them may still trigger you on a different level.
Some things are difficult to get over, as they may resurface in your moments of sleep. Once someone has hurt you, it can be challenging to feel comfortable around them again.
This is why it is crucial to think before you speak, as once a hurtful word is said, it cannot be taken back.
The way you have treated someone will always leave a lasting impact, as actions carry consequences that can never be erased from memory.
The scars of our past experiences may linger, but it is important to not let them overshadow our peace of mind. Instead, we should strive to set them aside and focus on living.
The loss of a loved one is an unforgettable experience that will always stay with us.
It is important to remember that crying is a natural part of the healing process. Whether it is days, months, or even years later, shedding tears for a loss is a healthy and necessary way to cope with grief.
When my Father received the cancer diagnosis, I felt a surge of anger towards God for letting him endure such a terrible disease. As my Father battled through the pain, I found myself cursing God for not easing his suffering. And when my Father passed away, my heart was filled with hatred towards God.
Over time, I began to shoulder the blame, that my emotional dependence on my Father may have contributed to his stress and suffering.
However, I eventually came to accept the harsh truth that all things unhealthy in life, such as stress, pressure, and overall unhappiness, can lead to the development of serious illnesses.
But it was when I reflected on my own unhealthy thoughts that I began to accept life on life’s terms.
Today, I realise that I no longer need to search for meaningless things. My love for my Father knows no bounds, and at times, I can’t help but wonder if even God himself might feel a twinge of jealousy.
My sole regret is that I did not pay more attention to what he was trying to communicate.
I could have spared myself from the anguish of the past and reclaimed my power and energy.
I came to understand that love and acceptance cannot be bought.
Sometimes, the most profound understanding comes from learning things the hard way.
I can’t comprehend why we subject ourselves to needless suffering, but I recognise that sometimes it’s the only path to true growth and understanding.
In everything, there must be a balance.
Natalie M Bleau
Scripture of Balance
